Assholes - Assholes everywhere.

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I receive tons of e mails from people asking for guidance and help.

It can range from relationship problems, to financial, housing and mostly, coming out late in life as gay.

If and where I can, I take the time and consideration to offer whatever help I can - and as an out gay man for over 50 years, and having actually ' done something with my life' I do feel I am in a position to help.

I received an e mail recently from a complete stranger - an elderly man of 78 who stated he was so lonely - and I took an hour or more out of my busy day to answer. I told him how we at Hamilton Hall would offer something special and how easy it was to make friends here and so on, and I thought I did more than many would for a complete stranger - and I was appalled and absolutely disgusted a week later to receive this below:

Dear John:

Whilst accepting that we are all entitled to our views I have reached the following conclusion. From reading you blogs your views are of a strangely somewhat naïve nature.

The investigation into the happenings of Boris Johnson's Government is still on going, it must not and should not. be Pre judged. Our system allows every person their point of view in free speech and movement, long may this remain.

I made enquiries into having a stay at your Hotel however Your statement ref. control of hot water and heating is a real no no especially at this time of the year.

Having been a director of a multi national company, I find your terms and conditions show an element of miss trust and insecurity.

Wishing seasonal greetings

Ian

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And people wonder why so many gay venues close down ?

Not a single pleasant word -

No thankyou for your thoughtful e mail -

Nothing positive or supportive - at all.

I personally get so tired of people like this who have never spent any money here, who take advantage of my good and kind nature and then bitch me and my business and he CLEARLY KNOWS NOTHING about the financial side of running a small business and I was appalled and disgusted at his manner with me.

I repeat - not a single nice word.

I showed it to my staff and all were open mouthed - especially considering the length I went to to answer his original ' poor me all lonely' e mail.

You take the time to answer a lonely old mans plea for help - and you put your heart on your sleeve as I really felt for this man, and then THIS IS WHAT I GET IN ANSWER ?????

I am sometimes disgusted with some people and this man, I am not just disgusted with, I am disappointed with, as he needed help, I offered help, and then he turns on me like some vile asshole and I am left stunned and open mouthed.

I answered and pointed out that maybe his manner was why he was alone and why he had no friends. I told him how disappointed in him I was and that from now on, he is on his own and how he needed to look at how he had abused my kindness and maybe THAT was why no one liked him enough to be a friend.

I blocked his e mail address and he is now barred from Hamilton Hall as if he - so quickly - turns on me in this fashion, goodness knows what he will be like with other guests, and that kind of screwy attitude, we can all do without.

It does disappoint - it really does, as when you read some peoples pleas for help, and when you go out of your way - and you take the time and you feel their pain and you make an offer - to then be slapped down in such a manner, leaves me astounded, shocked and absolutely appalled.

I don't expect an OBE - I don't expect a life long friend or anything else - what I expect is a decent human being to act like a decent human being and not turn into an asshole. If at the end of the day we have helped someone, then that is reward enough and I am glad to say, the vast majority of our custom base, come again and again, so we are definitely doing something right and after all, we are still her and on March 30th 2024 - Hamilton Hall and myself will have been married / partnered for 24 years - and unlike scores of other gay venues - WE ARE STILL HERE - and we are still busy - and we have millions of hits per year to the web site and tens of thousands read the weekly FREE Newsletter / Blog - so - somehow I think I am doing things about right.

Don't you ?

And as far as this ungrateful, selfish and thoughtless old man is concerned, I shall leave him exactly where I found him, alone and lonely, and if nothing else - my e mail back will point out the reasons he is so alone is all down to his obnoxious and thoughtless manner with those who offered kindness and consideration to his plight. Some of these old fools deserve all they get.

But I definitely do not expect or deserve abuse like this which sadly, is not uncommon from within the LGBT world as many - quite simply - eat their own.

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As soon as this Blog / Newsletter is sent out - in fact while it is still being sent out - I get answers from those waiting for it - and I get instant comments about various articles etc. and hence I am able to instantly upload them onto the system and THANKS GUYS for your speedy replies. You are always welcome to write about anything you have read here but please - be thoughtful - be considerate - and if we share different opinions, that is brilliant as it got you thinking and writing and we get to read a different view point, that is how we all grow. If you wish to write a rebuttal to anything, or your own editorial, then PLEASE DO, send it in and I shall upload into next weeks Blog / Newsletter and thanks. But if you send an abusive e mail, you WILL be told where to go.

SOME OF YOUR E MAILS IN RESPONSE:

I had a German boyfriend years ago who was like this old man. Complained about everyone and everything and it all became too much. We split and this just gave him something else to complain about. Some people are never happy John. We need to leave them where they are and not allow them to drag us down with them.

Oli

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John. Don't take any notice of the old fart who expected so much and then abused in return. The world is sadly full of these pricks John and sadly, - on occasions - we get hurt by them and while they think themselves right and how they got away with it - they do not. He is alone and lonely. You run a busy men only hotel. Guess who wins this one John ?

Victor

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John: What a horrible man. You do have my sympathy. After all you do for others you most definitely do not deserve the likes of that awful man Ian. What a miserable old man he is and he probably wonders why he is so lonely - and I think we can all figure that one out.

Simon K.

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After more than two decades in business I am aware you do something right. I've only been once and loved it. Those who miss the point and complain like Ian did, need ignoring. Concentrate on those who are worthy and ignore those who oppose. It's better for your soul.

Mark.

------------------------------ Did that ass just wink at me ???

Dear Mr. Bellamy I have never written before although you have sent me your Blog for some years now. Your piece about Self Centred Wankers just registered with me. Nursed an old friend decades ago who was lonely and miserable and never stopped moaning even though I was there to cheer him up and all he did was constantly complain about everything I did until I left. He then moaned everyone abandons him and yet he desperately would not see his behaviour was responsible. He died and there was one - me - at his funeral. A man in his late 80's only had me to see him off, and these people wonder why ?

He was just an angry bitter old man who drove everyone away, and then complain they are alone. Stuart.

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John: I feel for you. You work so hard. Many do appreciate. Ignore that old cunt Ian. He is not worth your time and effort.

Luciano

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John: I read your piece about the old man who wanted help and then picked you and your newsletter apart. I have to say - 5 years ago when my partner died you offered me a few days at Hamilton Hall for free and it cheered me up beforehand that someone was that kind and thoughtful towards a complete stranger. I stayed the weekend for free and added a few days onto this and paid as it was just so nice at your place. You were an absolute life saver and I saw just how you put yourself out for those in need - so when I read about this selfish old man who was so thoughtless, it is no wonder you get irritated. Some people want everything and then abuse those who help and that attitude is beyond me. I do love the way you share this with us. Makes it all so human and so real.

You are well respected and help highly in my heart.

Peter M. -------------------------------------- John: After more than 6 times at HH I am always astounded when I read how so many abuse what you offer. It angers me John, as I feel for you. Clive.

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Read a few of the complaints against you and Hamilton Hall on Trip Advisor and laughed so much at your responses to their complaints. Well done John as there are always two sides. Good that you put your side. After over 20 years, you must be doing something right. Josh.

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THERE ARE SEVERAL HERE I WOULD LIKE TO SIT ON MY FACE. HOW ABOUT YOU ?