Fun Political Jokes

If you take it all too seriously, you end up a mess.

If you learn to laugh, you will survive.

Here’s the joke:

Trump’s Secretary of Agriculture, Brooke Rollins, suggested that we could mitigate the egg crisis by importing eggs from foreign countries. J. D. Vance then spoke up and commented that he’d had delicious eggs for breakfast on a trip to Scotland. Trump immediately ordered 10 million Scotch eggs.

Here’s the joke:

Secretary of Health & Human Services RFK, Jr. comes down with the flu next winter because he failed to allow the CDC to authorize a 2025 flu vaccine. The really funny part is that 10 million Americans also come down with flu and some die, for lack of a vaccine.

Here’s the joke:

Secretary of Defense Peter Hegseth halts all American military attempts to detect and cancel Russian cyber spying, with the result that Russian hackers gain access to all USA military secrets including our nuclear codes.

Here’s the joke:

Secretary of Education Linda McMahon follows Trump’s orders to shut down and eliminate the Dept. of Education, as a result of which the schools of Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, Florida and West Virginia get even worse.

Here’s the joke:

Trump has named himself chairman of the board of the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts and has immediately banned any drag performances. As a result, the Kennedy Center will never be able to present Shakespeare’s THE MERCHANT OF VENICE, TWELFTH NIGHT, AS YOU LIKE IT or ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL, nor the brilliant classic comedy CHARLIE’S AUNT, nor the Broadway musical LA CAGES AUX FOLLES.

You couldn't make this shit up... A Trump official actually said, that if a person does not receive his social security cheque, and he complains about it, it means that they are cheating. He further claims, the best way to detect fraud, is to stop all payments and see who screams the loudest. Those are the people committing fraud. I have never heard such insanity. If my pension stopped, I could not make the rent, pay the bills, or eat. I bet thousands of American seniors are in the same boat. They pay for their retirement every working day of their lives, then Trump wishes to steal their money? He acts as though they are not entitled to what they paid for?

Man asks his wife: “if I die, would you consider getting married again?” The wife shot back rather quickly, “Sure.”

The man digs. “Well would you let him live in this house?” “Well sure. I love this house.” Feeling more upset he continues, asking, “Would you let him use my golf clubs?”

“Oh no. Never.” he gets some comfort. Until she says, “He's lefthanded.”

One morning a husband returns to the cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a beautiful day. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says," Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing"?

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious"?)

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to write you up a ticket."

"For reading a book"? she replies.

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again.

"But officer, I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a fine."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he immediately departed.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece!!

Dad: "What are you looking for in that drawer?"

Mom: "I can’t find the money I saved. I need to pay the deliveryman."

Dad: "Don’t worry, you’ll find it. How much do you need?"

Mom: "Five thousand rupees. I ordered some groceries and other essentials for the house."

Dad paid the deliveryman, and we all got busy with our daily work.

The next day, while cleaning the kitchen together, Mom suddenly shouted:

Mom: "Look! I found my money! It was in the cupboard all along. I was so silly, searching the whole house for it!"

She looked so happy because she had saved that money to buy a birthday gift for her friend. But something else was going on.

Later, Dad stepped outside for a smoke, and I quickly followed him.

Me: "Why did you do that?"

Dad: "Do what?"

Me: "I saw you take the money from your wallet and put it in the cupboard."

Dad smiled and said, "You know she means everything to me. I couldn’t let her feel sad over a little lost money. When you truly love someone, you should take care of them in every way you can."

He wiped his sweat with a handkerchief.

Me: "Dad, why are you using Mom’s handkerchief? Is this another way of showing you care about her?"

Dad: "Nope. It still has her fragrance."

At that moment, my whole perspective on life and love changed.

A blond sits down on a plane and starts to read her book but the guy sitting next to her, a lawyer, won’t leave her alone. Finally, he says to her, “Let’s play a game. I’ll ask you a question and if you can’t answer it, you owe me five dollars. Then you ask me a question and I can’t answer it, I owe you a thousand dollars.”

The blond says, “Okay.”

The lawyer says, “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

Without a word, the blond opens her purse, takes out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to him. She then asks, “What goes up the hill on three legs and comes down on two?”

The lawyer thinks about this; he does an internet search; he calls his friends and asks them but he’s stymied and he hands the blond a thousand dollars. She puts it into her purse and goes back to reading. The lawyer says, “Hey! What’s the answer?”

Without a word, the blond opens her purse, takes out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to him.