Funnies - Politics - you have to laugh or you'd cry ???

An old woman walked up and tied her mule to the hitching post. She was brushing some dust off her face and clothes when a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon, holding a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

He looked at the woman and laughed, saying, "Hey old woman, have you ever danced?"

The woman looked up and replied,

"No ... I never did dance. Never really wanted to."

A crowd gathered around, and the young gunslinger grinned.

"Well, you old bag, you're gonna dance now!" he said, and began shooting at her feet.

Not wanting to have her toes blown off, the woman started hopping around. The crowd laughed.

When he finished shooting, the gunslinger holstered his gun and turned to go back inside the saloon. But then, the old woman turned to her mule, pulled out a double-barrel shotgun, and cocked both barrels. The loud clicks echoed through the desert, and the crowd immediately stopped laughing.

The gunslinger turned around slowly.

The silence was intense.

The crowd held their breath as he stared at the woman, who was holding the shotgun steady.

She calmly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger gulped and said, "No ma'am, but I've always wanted to."

There are five lessons here for all of us:

1 - Never be arrogant. 2 - Don’t waste ammunition. 3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are. 4 - Always know who has the power. 5

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Most politicians talk as if out of a horses ass...

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Dr. Zakir Naik boarded a taxi in London. He said aloud to the taxi driver, "Brother, please turn off the radio because music is haram, especially Western music, which is the music of the disbelievers and did not exist in the era of Mohammed."

The taxi driver politely turned off the radio, stopped the taxi, and opened the door.

Zakir Naik asked him, "Brother, what are you doing...?"

The taxi driver politely answered, "In the era of the Mohammed:

There was no taxi;

There were no bombs;

No loudspeakers in the mosques;

No suicide bombers;

No AK-47,

No Taxis.

So shut up, get out, and wait for your camel..."

When I was a sex worker I had scores of Muslim clients who loves sucking another mans cock and getting fucked up the butt. They lived in expensive apartments but lived like dirty slobs. They eat and drank all the things they are NOT suppose to eat and drink and loved the life of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll;- yet miraculously became nice little Muslim boys when they got on the plane to fly home. I would always tease and say how Mohamed and Allah could see them here in the UK just as he could 'back home' and their answer was always the same, they were more afraid of what their Mother would say than Mohamed.