sex and nudity - your e mails

You asked for experiences of paying for sex

John- I have paid for sex a lot. Hundreds of times over a 15 year period. My wife and I haven't had sex for years - not since the kids were born and the youngest just turned 18. Discovered my gay side and wife knows so no problem there. Most gay sex workers either are crap service - untidy and dirty accommodation - major attitude problem and condescending to me, the punter and once, I actually hit the sex worker AT THE DOOR for being obnoxiously rude to me AT THE DOOR - I hadn't even crossed the threshold and he told me to ' fuck off because you're too old and fat.' - and my INSTANT reaction was to lean in as if I was going to say something - and he leaned closer to hear, and I wacked him one, a right hook right to the left cheek, and he screamed, fell backwards and - well - I was out of there. His adverts did not last long and I have to say that the vast majority of gay sex workers are crap and a waste of money as all you get is attitude and bad sex. I have met a few good ones and one I have been seeing - off and on - for a decade or more, in between seeing others as well.

Martin ( Glasgow )

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I belong to a group called Gay Naturists International. Every year, at the end of August, they rent a campground in the Pocono Mountain for an amazing event. It is not clothing optional. It's naked. We only wear what is necessary depending on the weather. It's the mountain. Sometimes it's chilly in the morning or late evening. But, the clothes are usually gone after breakfast.

It's usually about 500 people. There are cabins that hold an average of 8 people. You can pitch a tent or bring a camper or motor home. There is a dining hall that provides 3 meals a day. There is a Social Hour in the afternoon that always has a different theme. The costumes get very creative. There are various activities during the day. There's a small lake so there are canoes, row boats, and paddle boats. There are 2 pools one is for activities like water polo, aerobics, etc. The other pool is the quiet pool for people who just want to lie in the sun, read, or swim laps. No music is allowed.

There is a disco that opens around 10:30 every night. It's very popular. There is a Leather section that has classes during the day. Later in the evening they have a play space. It's 4 cabins that are all on a separate little road. Everyone is welcome.

It's the most non-judgemental place I have ever seen. You have to be 21 because alcohol is served. But all shapes and sizes are welcome.

My first year was 1999. We missed a couple of years because of Covid. I stopped going last year because I had done everything I wanted to do. Other than seeing friends, There was no longer anything I was interested in. Dennis B.

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I am the same vintage as you John and this was some 20 years ago

On line I found an escort who offered massages. A few messages passed between ourselves and I shared my deepest fantasy with him, trying to open enough to accommodate a hand (if you get my meaning). He said he would spend time opening me to relax enough to fulfil my fantasy.

I’d never done this before but agreed and booked him for the whole evening. He could accommodate so on the agreed date I turned up at his home and was met by a great looking fit guy.

We had a relaxing drink and then went into his private room for play. After about 2 hours of erotic touching with both of us naked he began the task of really opening me up. He took his time and after about 3hours I accomplished what I had been desiring. We broke off about 10pm and he had prepared a light supper which we ate naked together.

We returned to the play room and I climbed back into the sling and enjoyed a very long and sensual fuck. He didn’t cum - said he seldom did with clients

After the sling we had cuddle time and I am proud that following a lot of kissing and touching I was able to bring him off in my mouth. I stayed the night and he got up at 7am with me to run me to the station to catch my train to Birmingham for work. It was an expensive evening and I’ve never repeated it but was the best sex I have ever had.

I am married to a guy now who is dear to me but very unadventurous sexually and although I’d love to visit your hotel he would be horrified if I suggested it

I get so much pleasure from your weekly newsletter - have to say much prefer smooth balls rather than natural

Think you are really sexy and wish I could have know you at a younger age and explored CBT, vacuum pumping and more with you

Keep up the great work we do appreciate it and if ever I get the chance I’d adore to stay at Hamilton Hall and get naked with like minded fun guy

Regard ( Name withheld )

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Johns response : Sounds like you got one of the few good escorts as most - to be honest - would not have done half what this guy offered and would have wanted you in and out as fast as possible. So good for you he sounds one of the few good sex workers who takes a pride in his job. I offered much the same service for those who wanted an overnight service;- dinner - wine - chat, friendship and lots of sex... and I also had a full dungeon sex room designed purely for almost any sex act you can imagine and with tons of equipment and toys, etc...

It is SO GOOD to hear you had a positive response - you were very lucky.

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John: My mother before told me on my 4 th birthday she never wanted me or loved me, but if I went out with my uncle and aunt who where nudist but she never knew, she use to say “ have you got clean underwear on, I am not having you run over if not” use to make me think that she wanted a car to hit me.

I went down to Blackgang for the first time with my relatives when I was 12 years old, I was very fat nearly 15 stone ( well I weighed the same weight as Frank Sinatra when I was born 13lb ) I had to climb down a cliff to the fantastic beach, I was very nervous of taken of my trunks, I was ok at there house but others people on the beach and I got my first ragging hard on, I was so embarrassed but my uncle said it happens to him ( he had a wonderful size, I was at the end of the queue for a big size 😉)

I did eventually relax and enjoy it, saw many sizes of bodies and many cocks, think I knew that day I was gay.

Been a nudist all my life met my husband down there, we both can’t get down to it anymore, it is beautiful place, he is not a nudist any more and have never found anyone who will just have cake and coffee and chat, I did hear from 2 guys but they wanted sex, as I can’t get a hard on now one thing I do miss is someone shooting over me, may be one day.

Is there any way you could put an advert thing just saying just want to share being a nudist with someone, just coffee and cake or biscuits, if you can’t that’s fine .

Read with tears in my eyes about that boy in your newsletter who was bullied, the parents fault, I was bullied all through my school days have no school friends to chat to, I had to raid my post office account every Christmas as bullies wanted those chelation boxes, brought loads just to stop the bullying, I was also being hit and sexual assaulted from my so called mothers boyfriend, I call her the surrogate.

Sorry if grammar or spelling bad I am slightly dyslexic when I was at school I was called dum by some teachers.

Sorry been so long love and big hugs to you all, and thank you for the news letter.

N&Kn &M

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JB Responds: You were so lucky to be introduced to naturism by your Uncle. Most of us find it the hard way ( no pun intended ) in adult life - but as a child, lucky you. I think a lot of gay men have childhood sexual fantasies as men seemed so much bigger and stronger and hugely hung compared to our ' little boys bodies' and it's the gym teacher - or the Music teacher we have crushes on at school but never get to see them naked and here you are - on a naturist beach as a kid with all those grown ups and I find that SUCH A HEALTHY WAY TO BRING UP A CHILD - no embarrassment as you learn about the naked body early and no - ' show me yours and I'll show you mine.'- stuff. Many sexually fucked up parents screw up their kids concerning nakedness and sexuality and pass on their own inability to freely enjoy their body and what it can do - and screw up their children... and that creates a screwed up population and we all know where that leads.

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John: I was adopted after my parents returned to Africa and as I was born here I was not allowed to join them, so they - basically - gave me away aged 6. I was given to the state and was raised in a Children's Home as no one wanted to adopt a black kid - and I was never adopted into a family setting. At 18 the council tried to get me out and off their books but as I am not stupid, - I knew they were breaking the law in doing so and that it was their statutory right to make sure I was housed and in employment BEFORE they washed their dirty little hands of me.

I got a flat and left the bar job I had and turned to the sex industry and as a tall, handsome, broad and very well hung black man, ( over 10 inches ) I found I was in demand and earned a fortune. I gave a full fuck service and always did safe sex. Now after ten years I am retiring as I have 4 flats, one I live in and 3 I rent out and their rents pay the mortgages and I am sitting pretty. Having no one at all - as I never saw my Mother and family again after that and have no idea where they are, I rely on friends which is hard as the gay scene is full of arseholes and the only person who has ever stayed true and honest with me and would be there for me whatever, is a punter who became a friend and has always - like a father figure, watched out for me. He is my family.

Loved the sex work but glad to be leaving and stop the constant stress and anxiety involved.

Roger.

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John. I am currently working as a sex worker. I have a web site and offer massage ( with happy ending ) and /or full sex - it is one or the other - and so many assume they are going to have a full massage and then get fucked - and my answer is you get one or the other for your money and NOT both,. The business has changed me. I am so bored with sex - so bored with old and uninteresting people, so bored with hearing all their problems and so bored with waiting around for a punter and feel my time is wasted. It's been almost 3 years and I am angry.

How did you cope with the stress and anxiety involved, especially when doing an out call to their home or hotel ? Bradley

JOHN BELLAMY ANSWERS

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Dear Bradley - YOU NEED TO QUIT THE SEX WORK NOW. Find yourself a job and get back to being you and not the sex star the client wants you to be and it is obvious to me, you are not a good sex worker as you are bored by it all, and that is a very bad sign. Your clients will get a half asses service and you will loose your regular clients and if even the money is not enough incentive to help you enjoy the work, then nothing will. Money is a great motivator and of you are bored earning £100 an hour - ( tax free ) then do quit and go work in Tesco filling shelved at £9.50 an hour and then tell me how bored you are. I think you need to come and see me for a serious wake up call - you earn £100 an hour - even if you only do one client a day - which should be easy - that is over twice what you will earn in an ordinary job and you complain you are bored ???

Time for a reality check Bradley - a serious in depth reality check before you end up fucked up and mentally , sexually and emotionally damaged by the work. It can and does happen and it sounds as if you are on a threshold of self destruct. Do come and see me 0- we need to have a chat. JB

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A few years ago I went to see a drag comedy act in Bristol. It was in a small club. I was watching the performance when a hand came round from the person standing in front of me. Started stroking my penis. Wow! Wow! Wow! Instant erection!! The hand went away so I loosened my belt 3 notches and undid my fly. After a minute that hand came back. It enjoyed what it felt. SO DID I. I slid down my slides panties. I was SO hard. A simple act of kindness. AND I loved it. My body shook all over.

( JB Responds :-- Panties -Ii did read that right - panties - er - are what women wear dear... )

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