sex workers are not whores.

You asked for experiences of paying for sex.

I am the same vintage as you John and this was some 20 years ago

On line I found an escort who offered massages. A few messages passed between ourselves and I shared my deepest fantasy with him, trying to open enough to accommodate a hand (if you get my meaning). He said he would spend time opening me to relax enough to fulfil my fantasy

I’d never done this before but agreed and booked him for the whole evening. He could accommodate so on the agreed date I turned up at his home and was met by a great looking fit guy. We had a relaxing drink and then went into his private room for play. After about 2 hours of erotic touching with both of us naked he began the task of really opening me up. He took his time and after about 3hours I accomplished what I had been desiring. We broke off about 10pm and he had prepared a light supper which we ate naked together.

We returned to the play room and I climbed back into the sling and enjoyed a very long and sensual fuck. He didn’t cum - said he seldom did with clients

After the sling we had cuddle time and I am proud that following a lot of kissing and touching I was able to bring him off in my mouth. I stayed the night and he got up at 7am with me to run me to the station to catch my train to Birmingham for work. It was an expensive evening and I’ve never repeated it but was the best sex I have ever had.

I am married to a guy now who is dear to me but very unadventurous sexually and although I’d love to visit your hotel he would be horrified if I suggested it

I get so much pleasure from your weekly newsletter - have to say much prefer smooth balls rather than natural

Think you are really sexy and wish I could have know you at a younger age and explored CBT, vacuum pumping and more with you

Keep up the great work we do appreciate it and if ever I get the chance I’d adore to stay at Hamilton Hall and get naked with like minded fun guy

Regards

Carl. (Shropshire)

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I was a rent boy decades ago. Worked at the Earls Court Clinique. Awful tacky place. Full of street boys in the winter months to stay out of the cold and Dear God some of these lads were from appalling backgrounds and one would not trust them as far as you can see them. A brothel is never going to be the most upmarket

environment. I left and joined Adams Bureau - which was a very different kettle of fish, but they were abusive to their staff and didn't give a damn about your well being and sex work is dangerous and you expect your agency to look after you but - Adams Bureau was the worst for abusing their staff and then just dumping them. Then John, you won't remember, but I worked for you at 30PLUS and you were brill, looked after me, helped in all ways and took an interest in my emotional and financial well being. It was for about 6 months and then I went to live in France ( Does that ring a bell...) and the money I had made helped me enormously buying properties in France. Thanks John, you showed me a more caring side of the sex industry.

Michael

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John. I once paid for sex. saw a male rent boy. Awful. Truly awful. He had an ad promoting a luxury flat in Earls Court and it was worse than a dive - dirty - untidy - a shambles, a bit like the guy himself and I walked away before even getting my clothes off. He wanted paying and tried to heavy arm me and as I am 6'5" he thought better than that. I left and was so glad I did. It was a horrible experience and I was sad not to be able to have had some fun but I didn't even go through with it.

Barry JB RESPONDS - Sadly Barry, there are a LOT of crummy down market people in the sex industry and you will - unfortunately - find the majority to be bad and only a very few to be worthy. The sex industry offers opportunities to people from all walks of life and many of life's victims turn to sex work when they shouldn't, as they are already life victims and the sex world will destroy them even further and they will pass this onto their clients - so avoid. There are more victims in the escort business and you need to find someone who offers a decent service and who enjoys what he / she does.

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Saw a regular prostitute for some years - many many moons ago. Every other Friday night I stayed for an overnight at his place in West London. He was very nice and we had this bi weekly arrangement for some 3 years. Then he changed. Moody. Snappy, Bad tempered. I talked with him about it and it seems he had got into Chem sex - and he was having sex high of various sex drugs that alters your perception of reality and when he came down from that - when he came round from the drugs, life was not as good and sex not as good and he went down hill within 6 months. Dark shadows under his eyes, lost weight, and eventually I heard that he had done cocaine with a customer and had died on the spot in his flat. Seems the drug was not all it was suppose to be. He was dead at 36. Shows you have to be careful. I miss him still as he was a really nice man and all I have found - as far as other rent boys are concerned, are awful guys who just want the money and to get you out as fast as possible.

Martin.

( JOHN COMMENTS: Was this in Hammersmith about 30 years ago as the same thing happened to a sex worker I knew and tried to help him get off the drugs but died of an overdose in his prime.

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John. Have been seeing a male escort for some months now on a regular basis and I think he is falling in love with me. What should I do. Geoff.

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DELUSUONAL DEAR - TOTALLY DELUSIONAL - Sex workers are not about to fall in love with you and it is usually the other way round, my dear. Do not fool yourself or offer a delusional approach to sex workers or you will be sadly disappointed. Many clients assume the escort loves them and that they are their only client, and how the escort really misses them and looks forward to seeing them again and this kind of rhetoric is absolute crap. If he is anything like me in my day when I was an escort, on average I saw between 20 and 30 clients a week - Most were in calls where the client visited me and some would be out calls to a 5 star hotel.

Clients falling for the sex worker - I have seen and experienced it many times, it is the clients own delusional approach to sex combined with emotions that they bring to the table, whereas the escort just brings sex. If you get on and chat - that's brill but they WILL NOT bring their emotions with them as THAT stays private, however intimate and friendly they may be - there will be boundaries at play.

I had clients fall in love with me and I learned how to approach this with tenderness and kindness and while putting up a barrier and explaining I was not in the market for a lover, and that I would NOT be the right one for them, explaining my life was too frenetic, busy and full of 'stuff' and how they deserved someone more stable - ( which was a load of bollocks ) but it worked each time and I didn't loose them as a client.

Stop with the ' he's in love with me' as if he does state this, watch your wallet and be aware that there are a lot of sex workers out there you cannot trust so - play safe in all areas and especially with your wallet and your emotions.

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John: I am a doctor in A&E. Not telling you where as that is my business. I have been a doctor for 15 years since training. I have a house and a car - all paid for and all happy and I do sex work on the side. I have a stunning body and huge dick and I always thought it was wasted until I was offered money for sex one time, I said yes, and never looked back. Last year as a doctor I earned £67,000 and from my sex work - £32,000 and that was working part time in what time off I have. I have a web site and a huge following and financially, it serves me well. I even declare it for tax. Michael

This is not Michael, just a random picture ...

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Went to the Dorchester Hotel to see a client for sex one evening around 7.30pm. Right in front of me as I entered they called two ' ladies' over and refused them entry as they were clearly prostitutes and hotels will not allow entry - and here I was - I just walked straight past them and up to see my client. Seems they are less aware that a 42 year old men can sell sex just as an 18 year old girl can. Colin

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Hi John,

I thought you would like to hear my good and bad experience of paying for sex.

I worked abroad in a demanding job and would only be home in the UK for 21 days every three months. But when one day was used to travel home and one used to travel back meant that there were only 19 days.

After doing the things that needed to be done while home, like dentists, doctors, solicitors, banking etc through the days then fitting my large family and friends in for a visit through the evening didn’t leave a lot of time to meet other men. I had to draw up a timetable to organise my time. Plus, we all know how reliable the gay apps and websites are ! I could go on a ‘date’ and end up with a goodnight kiss. So, I decided to pay so that I was guaranteed some sex.

I looked online and arranged to meet a guy Luke in a hotel near Heathrow before I set off home. He was 43, clean, well educated, very polite and I had a good time. This arrangement continued for a few leaves, then I invited him to my home in Dorset. Again, great time.

However, the next time I was due home Luke was not available, as he was abroad on his holiday. So, I thought I would just go straight home. However, towards the end of my leave my cock got the better of me. So, I went online to look, as time was running out. I found Dale. We arranged to meet.

I gave Dale my address, he was travelling from Southampton and told him to double check as there are two roads with very similar names, if he was driving through, not to rely on satnav. He said that he was not driving through but coming through on the train, fine I said just check with the taxi driver when he drops you off, Dale said he would cycle from the station here, I warned that it was quite a distance. At the time I had a distinctive car which I parked out front, I told Dale to look for the car, which would indicate that he was in the correct place. We agreed to meet at 6.30pm.

6.30 came and no Dale, I phoned his mobile and he said he was on his way. Eventually he arrived, he looked different than his profile picture, he was chunky (not that that is a problem but not on the profile). He was covered in sweat, from cycling.

Me: “You want to have a shower?”

Dale: “Nah, I’m fine”

Me: “It’s a rhetorical question”

Anyway, he came inside, Dale’s eyes were everywhere, I thought he would have made a good insurance assessor as I am sure he would have been able to write a list of everything in my flat. He then proceeded to ask if I knew ‘Mr X”? I said no, Dale then proceeded to tell me that he lived in the block of flats across the road, described him and his sexual preferences. I thought, if he is telling me about him, I’m sure he will tell him about me – so much for confidentially. I was thinking that I must leave here in the morning and go to Heathrow. I made a point of telling Dale that a member of my family lived here when I was away (which was true). I don’t think for a moment that Dale would rob the flat but I though he might say in a pub “that flat has a collection of… and the bloke who lives there works away.” I had already experienced his discretion. Dale asked when I was next due home, as he “didn’t get many bookings!” Anyhow, I made sure that I booked Luke for the next visit!!

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