Thankyou guys, your kindness means a lot.

When after a months break from this Newsletters because I was ill I hospital, and when I get home to daily District Nurse visits and I have a catheter in place and need weekly visits to the hospital, and when I have an ongoing prostate problem that could mean an operation, and when I am exhausted from the simplest thing and rest a lot and sleep a lot and rely on Woody to help ' run the hotel' for me as I - quite simply - am slowly recovering and regaining my strength, it takes a very special kind of person to send hate mail to me and pick apart in a vile and hate filled manner something from an old newsletter - and as far as I am concerned, people like him and just so unworthy - so sad - so pathetic and so shameful as part of the gay community, it beggars belief what a sad little man he must be.

Even at a time like this, some people cannot for an instant, have empathy.

When I first let you all know I was in hospital, I received over 430 e mails and actual cards :- one with £60 in to help out and another a box of toys ??? - and yet another with a big bunch of flowers - and I was truly humbled to tears. These are the people I concentrate on. These are the heart and soul of the community. These are the ones I shall remember - always - and dismiss those who are still in need of help as - while it is a huge part of what we offer here - support - understanding - a safe place - and guidance for lost souls, there comes a time when even I - even the healer - needs help and support and while it is hard to admit, we all need that at times and as tough and as together as we may think ourselves to be, admitting we need that help and that support can often be hard, and admirable when admitted.

Sometimes you really have to pick your battles and sometimes, I have reached out and tried and help those assholes and sometimes it works, but there are also those you have to cut free to find their own way - or not - and concentrate on self and those who do support.

Big thank you to all those who kindly sent and continue to send Best Wishes and thankyou guys, it really does mean a lot.

John Bellamy

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