Things to do at Christmas

Of all the lists I found online concerning alternative things to do at Christmas, all were basically the same and none stated the obvious. All had you doing something for a charity or as a volunteer, walking in the woods etc. going to the pub or family; - as you can read below ; - but none said the one clear and obvious thing that I think many would appreciate...

DO FUCK ALL - Sit and watch telly - feet up - case of wine ( a bottle wouldn't do _) anything to help you relax and chill out and as it's Christmas and there will be tons on telly, cuddled up on the couch all cosy and warm wrapped in a quilt and just a very lazy day.

Sounds great to me... not that I have ever had such a Christmas - but in my head it sounds like an absolutely wonderful relaxing day.

Take a dip in the sea

Are you brave enough to get wet this year? Are you brave enough to see your cock and balls shrink to the size of a 3 year olds ? On Christmas Day, up and down the country, people in seaside towns and villages don Santa hats, fancy dress costumes and, more sensibly, wetsuits, and race into the sea – all to raise money for charity. Each year The Outdoor Swimming Society compiles a list of events taking place and provides safety information for new swimmers, so do check their safety advice. Some of these events might be a little different this year - some, such as Swim Serpentine, are already cancelled, while others are holding their events spread out throughout the day or throughout the month to avoid large crowds gathering.

Lend a helping hand

Charities need volunteers all year round, but especially so at Christmas, and 2020 is no different (although safety precautions mean that the running of events will be different this year) so why not offer to lend a hand? Perhaps by helping Crisis at Christmas serve lunch on the 25th to homeless people in Birmingham, Edinburgh, London, Newcastle and Oxford. Or spend a few hours with an elderly person who otherwise would be alone on Christmas Day, and while things might be a bit different due to Covid-19 restrictions this year there are still a lot of grass roots events happening across the country, such as Christmas meal deliveries and 'street drinks'. Find out what events are already happening or register your own at Community Christmas. Other volunteering opportunities are available at the Royal Voluntary Service, including plenty of virtual volunteering options.

Find out about online volunteering opportunities.

Find a four-legged friend

If on Christmas Day you always like to head outdoors for a bit of fresh air, don’t set off alone - offer to walk a friend or neighbour’s dog especially if they are busy cooking the day away - Routine can go out the window at Christmas time, so dog owners will eagerly hand over the lead. And you can bet the dog will be keen to escape excitable children, loud crackers and a bustling house too. Hamilton Hall's new puppy Madge coped brilliantly with last nights Naked Chill Out Party and we were really impressed how well she acted with a house full of naked men, loud music and people getting up to sing and an evening of coming together and having fun.

Get on your bike

Whether Father Christmas has been generous and delivered a new shiny bicycle to you on Christmas morning, or there’s an old rusty boneshaker sitting in your shed, get on your bike on the 25th. Either enjoy deserted cycle tracks alone, or invite sporty members of your friends and family bubble to join you.

Enjoy outdoor tourist attractions

World Heritage Sites such as the stone circle at Avebury and Lulworth Cove on Dorset’s Jurassic coast are often busy all year round, but not on Christmas Day. Spend time exploring an area and marvel that you can actually take photos of these spectacular sights without anyone else being in them. The National Trust have said that although many of their facilities will be closed there will be outdoor light displays around Christmas at many of their sites, check their website for more details. North of the border, Edinburgh Zoo stays open on 25th December so pop along and wish the residents a merry Christmas at one of their socially distanced VIP events.

Do check opening times with venue or tourist board websites and social media before setting off as restrictions will vary across the country. Remember to check what facilities might be shut, such as car parks and loos.

Attend a Christmas concert ( Hamilton Hall's Christmas sing song karaoke perhaps )

If you usually spend most of Christmas Day in the kitchen, a couple of hours’ reprieve at a Christmas concert will boost festive spirits, especially if you love a singalong. Check out local newspapers to see if any local churches are holding virtual carol services or socially distanced events on the 25th, or join one of the many events happening across the country, including live streams from Canterbury Cathedral and Salisbury Cathedral.

Dish up Christmas dinner to a dog or two

There are thousands of abandoned dogs and cats in animal rescue centres around the country, cared for 365 days of the year by dedicated staff and volunteers. Join a team this Christmas Day and help to serve up doggy (and cat) dinners to some furry friends who are waiting to find their forever homes, so contact your local animal shelters to find out whether there is anything you can help them with. You may even be tempted to give a dog or cat another chance.

Find out more about rehoming a rescue dog

Do some gardening

Garlic is best planted in late autumn or early winter, so if you haven’t already put some cloves in the ground, Christmas Day is the ideal time to be in the garden. Rhubarb crowns can also be planted in well-prepared soil, as can strawberry plants. If you’re more of a flower lover, then pop some tulip bulbs in pots – they can be planted right up until Christmas and still flower well in the spring.

Read our list of December garden jobs

Your Christmas ideas are always welcome.

Go on a ften

I know exactly what I would like to give him for Christmas and - me thinks - his eyes might water...

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE, EVEN IF A LITTLE EARLY...

Your e mails below

John: One year I ran away from the whole fucking Christmas madness and rented a cottage in the mountains outside of Denver, Colorado, and it snowed so much I was snowed in. I had tons of supplies and tons of candles and wood and I just meditated, eat, drank, read, watched telly, walked in the cold and saw deer and wild horses ( who I actually fed ) and while I was alone for the first time in years, it was a true delight.

Jason

Hamilton Hall : After a lifetime raising kids, my wife and I ( open relationship ) actually started to enjoy each others company for the first time in years,. as with kids and people around all the time, it was always hard to find any ' us time ' for just the two of us together and last Christmas was the first quiet festive season we have had since the kids were born and left home. WONDERFUL. Mind you - the kids wanted to come home but we said no, they can damned well look after themselves at Christmas for a change - thinking we would be invited to one of them, but no - that was a pipe dream, and it all turned out sensational as my wife and I became friends again and we actually had sex a few times for the first time in a decade. We actually became sweethearts again and all thanks to some peace and quiet at Christmas.

Gordon.

John. We are in Mexico for Christmas and shall be enjoying our first hot Christmas where the sun will be shining and we may even be on the beach. It will seem odd but with my partner - it should be great.

Tony & Dennis.

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