Time flies

When I was 17, I had this old gay gentleman friend named Gerry Pendral-Smith who lived in an old people home in Guernsey just a few miles from where I lived.

He had no real gay life since moving into the care home and loved his Sunday afternoons and evenings with us at the house, where he was around gay people and was accepted - and he would tell us stories of his life and my ' much older lover - 43 at the time when I was just 17 ) would collect him and I would drive him home at the end of the evening.

One sunny afternoon standing in the garden he said to me -

" You know John, When I was your age I closed my eyes and when I opened them again I am standing here with you - Now - THAT'S how quickly the years have gone."

I remember standing there in the sunshine thinking to myself

" But I'm only 17, I have decades ahead of me yet ."

Later that evening after taking him home and watching a little telly - I went to bed and slept well and got up this morning - Wednesday August 21st 2024 - and I wonder where the fuck the decades have gone, and he was right, the years have flown by so fast and at the time it seems to drag terribly but as the years go by, they seem to magically speed up and fly past and before you know it - BEFORE I KNEW IT - I shall be 70 next year and wondering - " WTF DID THAT GO ??? "

Coming to the realization that you have less years ahead of you than behind - Less years to achieve what you desire and less of an ability to achieve it - and as the body ages and the aches and pains slow you down and you find yourself making regular doctor and hospital appointments, taking meds as life goes by so fast and we seem to only really appreciate what we have - once it is lost into the annals of time itself.

Sometimes we just need to take a step back and look at where we are - and give thanks. I am still alive and still working - Still financially secure and still - more or less - in good health - and while I moan - I couldn't be happier.

I am celebrating being at Hamilton Hall next March 30th 2025 for 25 years and I never dreamed, I never thought - never gave it a moment, that I would be here for the long run, and that I will probably be here until my dying day. I concentrated - when I opened - on the future date of 2012 - the end of the Mayan Calendar - the time when time itself was to run out - The Mass Awakening - and I never really saw past that date which seemed such a long time away and yet - is now 12 years past.

Time stands still for no one - is the expression - and the youth of today will make a very sad generation of older people so on their lap tops and mobiles all the time, they will miss out SO MUCH IN LIFE ITSELF - glued to a screen ( oh - that sounds like me doing this newsletter each week ...) and with over 85% of young people afraid / nervous of face to face conversations with strangers we will have a very strange future for some, while I choose to stay at home with Woody and Gary and my guests and remain part of ' the old ways'- where we talk and we laugh and we share and we welcome face to face people who want to be friends, to meet and chat - to be a part of a family, be it gay or just people to converse with - and Hammy Hall will always be here for those who want a more personal venue, as long as I am able to breath and think and cuss... ha ha

Life is too short to sweat the little things. Life is too short to sweat the big things.

Unless you feel it is your destiny - your journey - to take on the Big Boys and fight for what you feel is right rather than just laying back, all passive, and just taking it - without saying a word, but if you do, don't moan when it goes shit up if you have done nothing and don't moan at those who do do something and take part, start something going, make a stand, make their voice heard, make changes and start afresh - a new. These are the few that make changes for everyone and few appreciate or value and they pass into history with very little knowledge of their lives and loves and challenges, and a new generation hasn't a clue what went before and just laugh at the old films that show what we went through.

And we are here to educate them.

John Bellamy